I never expected to fall so hard on someone I originally met over an Xbox Live game of Uno, nor did I even think it was possible to make such close connections with someone I had never met before. Yet, here I am. Over the nearly two year spand since our first Uno game, we’ve gone through some rocky situations, but I still consider him to be one of my closest friends. In early Spring of last year I fell pretty hard after confessing how I felt about him. Little did I know, he felt the same way too. Things couldn’t have been more better. However, after about a month of being out in the open about how we felt towards one another, life threw me a curve ball. Such a deadly pitch, it seized us from communicating with one another for over 5 months. In this lapse of time he found a girlfriend in which he’s been with now for over nine months. I myself have been single for over a year. Nevertheless, we still talk off and on, but when we do it’s always for advice about what he should do with his girlfriend/relationship problems. From what he tells me, it sounds like there is more fighting/arguments than there is happiness/love. Whenever I help him out it’s always on a friend level; I never say anything to persuade him in being with me. Their relationship sounds so unhealthy, but still he says he loves her. I myself have also been in love, so I understand where he is coming from. Yet, when he tells me about their relationship, he makes it sound like no one else will ever like him but her. However, even with this he is aware I still have feelings for him. When he confides in me, I do whatever I can to help because I don’t want to see him end up hurt, but still it burns everytime I have to go through hearing about his girlfriend. Since this seems to be the only way of still communicating with him, if I tell him how it hurts me, I’m afraid he’ll never talk to me. It’s easier said than done to just let go of someone; I’m still struggling with the few feelings I have left in regards to the last person I fell for over two years ago. Letting go is not an option I have, but at this point I don’t know what else to do.
Somewhere out there is the absolute perfect dog. Maybe they’ve already been born, maybe they haven’t. But when they are, one way or another you’ll know when they find you.
May you rest in peace my perfect companion; I will always and forever love you.
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